If a man showed emotion in front of you, what would you think of him? Perhaps weird, right?
We’re used to men not showing emotions, acting buff around their friends, including girls. But why is that so?
This has to do with how boys are raised. Being expected to be buff, “act strong,” not showing strong emotions or having fears - has consequences.
Men have an average of 12kg more muscle mass than women. And it shows. Just by looking at women, you can see physical differences. The real difference though is what boys and girls are allowed to do as boys and girls, what men and women are allowed to do as men and women.
It was normal for a man to work and earn money for the whole family. Today, still, a lot of people are convinced that men should follow this norm of being the primary financial supporter.
And this male role adds stress to boys’ lives. H. Schulte-Wefers wrote in the Scientific Journal for Men’s Health that the stress caused by traditional masculinity and changing male roles are factors for suicide carried out by men.
“The standards of male roles by which success and failure are measured are stated very clearly and firmly,” wrote Schulte-Wefers.
A sentence we all know: “that’s so gay!”
If a men doesn’t acts like their gender role then their considered as “gay.”
Some things considered as being gay:
Ø Using lip balm
Ø Having an open personality
Ø Showing emotions
Ø Not being built buff
Ø Warning “women’s clothing” (much colour or prints, skirts or dresses)
Ø Being vulnerable
Ø Not playing sports
Ø Having hobbies that don’t conform to the norm (dancing ballet, sewing, nail polish, etc.)
Many still think that being gay is something bad, and a lot of men who consider themself straight, are afraid of being called gay. This causes unnecessary stress for men and boys, who otherwise would just like to be themselves. They spend time and energy trying to prove that they’re not someone else.
Traditional masculinity (striving for power and dominance, hardness, courage, independence, efficiency, reason, competitiveness, success, activity and performance, control, invulnerability) also often makes men not vulnerable. It can make it difficult to show emotions and affection.
The gender roles assigned to men have other consequences:
Aggression toward women
Body insecurity
Shame
It’s time we reconsider how we raise boys into men.
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